Visiting the Capitol Will Cause Time Travel

Last weekend, I visited D.C. for the first time. Much to my mother's dismay, I did not go to see the White House or the monuments. Instead, I visited the future. The future as seen through 1980's eyes.

This is what the future looks like:

The Metro was definitely inspired by Star Wars. In fact, I'm pretty sure George Lucas invented the D.C. Metro. Inside, the cars, like the Starspeeder 3000, you'll find the floors carpeted and a calm, cool and collected voice announcing the next stop.

D.C., more precisely Bowie, Maryland (where David Bowie is in fact the mayor), unveiled the wonders of Diane Horner and country line dancing. The fine art of country line dancing was created in 1990 with the advent of jean shorts layered upon biker shorts. One day, a young Diane Horner, wearing her jean and biker shorts, entered a saloon. The older bartender with a handlebar moustache handed her a pair of cowboy boots and said, "This is your lucky day. You are my new student." "New student in what?" Diane asked. He then walked over to his jukebox and out burst the sounds of Run DMC  and Billy Ray Cyrus. "Why, country hip hop dancing," he said. Upon those words, a band of brothers emerged from the saloon doors. This band would then become her backup dancers. Heidi, TJ, Susan and Jamie.

Thus this was born:

I don't know when I'll be back in D.C. again. Next time, I will make sure to bring my light saber and cowboy boots.