Paper Airplanes

Fasteners are an important aspect of manufacturing. I deal with nuts and bolts at work at least once a week. Either I'm using them to test out samples of Loctite - the anaerobically-curing wunder-material that keeps fasteners together - or I'm looking through binders of materials specifications, making sure each nut has the correct thread count, inner diameter, outer diameter, composition and finish. So it came a surprise to me today to discover that Boeing just hasn't been keeping their fasteners in check. This article from Wired unveils Boeing's failure to maintain the utmost of quality control while putting together their 787 Dreamliner jet. The project has been delayed multiple times already, and the fact that the technicians drilling holes in the fuselage aren't following proper deburring procedures is only going to delay it further, sending investors into a tizzy.

So what is going on here? Why are these commonplace design choices creating delays? I have been working in manufacturing for the better part of two years now, and I witness it in my day-to-day as well. I was actually fuming with anger just reading this article. I feel like the entire economic crisis could be explained by the fact that people just don't give a damn anymore. Unfortunately, I have to realize my own hypocrisy in judging others for their day-dreaming antics, as I am a stalwart culprit of lackadaisical do-nothingness. But I have dreams! And goals! Outside of my current life! I have valid excuses! Or not. So what was distracting the guys at Boeing? Well, I started imagining what the job was like the day they were drilling into the titanium structure of the Dreamliner prototype (by the way, who the hell names a plane a Dreamliner? Are they living in some kind of homoerotic Kubrick film?) So what was it like? What kind of conversation was going on between the guys working on the plane? I imagine it went something like this:

Technician1: Dude, we were running Karazhan last night and we wiped to a bunch of trash mobs. I'm so sick of my guild. Everyone's ten years old.
Technician2: Ugh, I wish I had the time to play WoW. My wife was watching VH1 and I totally got suckered into a Rock of Love marathon. I'm already on my third cup of coffee.
T1: Ha, that show is awful. You see that Nailin' Palin video I sent you yet?
T2: Oh, yeah, totally. The wife almost caught me busting a nut on my laptop.
T1: Ouch. Oh shit, watch those holes - 3/8ths, remember?
T2: Yeah, yeah. I got it. I think I'm gonna go to Wal-mart later and get the new AC/DC album.
T1: Shit yeah. It's off the chain, man. Did you DVR LOST last night?
T2: Yeah, Locke eats the alien embryo. It's kinda distur-
T1: SPOILER ALERT!!! C'mon, I don't want to hea-
T2: The fucking struts dude. I swear to God, Big Luke is gonna come down here and beat our asses.
T1: Ha, I'd like to see him try. He's only a level 35 Paladin.
T2: Noob.
T1: Totes.
T2: Ok, looks like we're good here. Just force the nuts tight 'cause these holes aren't perfect.
T1: Yeah, fuck it. Just like Tila Tequila.

American manufacturing crumbles under the weight of election-themed pornography and massively multiplayer online gaming. I shed tears of nonchalance. I'm a big proponent of both.