Adventures in Craigslist

Checking Craiglist is a daily task for me. Brushing teeth, showering and checking Craigslist - the three most important things in my day. Today, in the New York Jobs sections, I probably stumbled upon the best possible job for a fledgling screenwriter.

"Nouveau celeb" Jimmy Lloyd needs someone to write a Roadhouse-esque script for his music video, "Cop Bar." When I first saw this listing, I thought, Copland with Sylvester Stallone! Hey, Sylvester Stallone would do this music video, since he's now the face of Russian vodka! He needs money! Much to my chagrin, "Cop Bar" has little to do with Copland. Sharing his name with a former British boxer (maybe he is the former British boxer?), the very humble, "nouveau celeb" Jimmy Lloyd's original song is about a non-cop who stumbles into a, yes, cop bar. Chairs will fly because you see, every time a non-cop enters a cop-bar, shit goes down. So apparently, different from other times, shit goes down because the non-cop gets the pretty lady, who I'm assuming has to be a cop. See, listening to "Cop Bar" on from self-proclaimed heir to Bruce Springsteen's throne, not only bought me to tears, but I discovered that cops go to cop bars. I dismissed the other two lines of repeating lyrics, but I'm assuming some more enlightening information about the police was revealed. With this song, listeners will learn someone is in a cop bar. And that Jimmy Lloyd (possible relative of famed DeLorean/time machine maker, Christopher Lloyd) wants to go to a cop bar with someone. I'm not sure if I want to enter any cop bars without the presence of Sylvester Stallone in a sheriff hat or Christopher Lloyd.

Look, Bruce needs to stop dancing in the dark. He needs to make room in the cop bar for Jimmy Lloyd.

Note to Jimmy Lloyd: You should consider getting a non-hotmail e-mail account.