I have a new favorite website, Ulillillia City Software.

Hours of entertainment.

Join a boy on his travels through his life of video games and dreams. 

"I was otherwise very normal before I became 4 years old. When I was around 4 years old, I began playing video games with the Atari. Day in and day out often for 10+ hours a day (except school), I played the Atari and future console systems that came out. This severe addiction to video games led to at least half of my many mental problems."

Journey through his dream journal where he explains his hundreds of mud dreams (as seen below).

My life has changed thanks to this man.

He's made me reconsider showering thanks to the excerpt below.

"How often do you take showers? Once a day? Twice a day? Once every two days? How about 3 to 6 times a month? Lately, it's been just that. The reasons come down to these (in order of their impact with the worst on the top):

Serious waste of time. It takes me 45 minutes to process the task of taking a shower in full and that's with shortcuts. It takes me about 5 to 7 minutes to find and check my clothes, 25 to 35 minutes for the actual shower itself, and about 8 to 10 minutes to dry off. I then remain cold for about two hours after it so in effect, it actually takes 3 hours total. Why does it take 25 to 35 minutes for the actual shower rather than 10 to 15 minutes? For one, I have timed this and it is quite consistant so I know the 25-35 minutes value is correct. Because the temperature knobs are very touchy, it takes much longer to get the temperature set, about 3 to 5 minutes right there. Even moving the knob 1/32 of an inch causes a 3°F temperature difference at the good zone and I have to maneuver the knob to a precision on the order of 1/100 of an inch for anything reasonable and it takes a lot of effort to get it that fine. It takes me about 1 to 3 minutes to adjust to the water and get used to it. Then it's about 5 to 7 minutes for the shampoo (the full process - warming it up first (this doesn't apply during the winter) getting it out of the bottle, spreading it around and washing it off in full - I do one round at it but use quite a bit of shampoo to cover otherwise two rounds at once to speed things up). Then it's about 8 to 12 minutes of using the body wash (warming it up especially (this takes nearly twice as long as the shampoo does, a good 3 to 4 minutes), moving the shower curtains so that they don't get in the way (I use water as a paste to "glue" the sides of the tub, otherwise they get annoying and in the way adding to my time), spreading it around, then washing it off). Finally, I spend another 2 to 4 minutes rinsing off before turning off the water. Then it's about ten minutes to dry off. It actually faster to dry off without a towel than it is for me with one. The reason is that almost all towels are stained in some way and when this was going on, I noticed that 15 to 20 minutes went by to find a towel that wasn't stained. Without the towel, it takes about 10 minutes instead, yet another reduction. To help with this, I have other tricks up my sleeve for further reducing the time - squeezing the water from my hair then going top to bottom removing whatever I can. This otherwise reduces the time by about 40% of what it would normally take. I get dressed after that then spend two hours fighting to keep warm by the time I'm back to normal again. Then, quite often, my mind drifts off which quite often adds an additional 5 to 10 minutes to my shower time. This is something that's hard to prevent from doing and it occurs at any time, whether driving, using the forums, typing, working on my game, eating, watching TV, etc.. With doing this every day, the amount of "wasted time" really adds up - a whole days' worth (well, 22 1/2 hours as a grand total versus my current 3 3/4 hours per month). I can do a lot with 18 3/4 hours freed up. I can do two whole mountain ranges in my 2D game (and that's about an 1800x170 image on average). I could watch an additional 30-minute educational TV show each day with a bonus every 4th day. I could type up a story about three times longer than some of the longest stories on my website. I could update my website in my usual way with 3-weeks' worth of details (dreams and my blog mainly) and still have time to spare. That's a lot of time and it adds up.


When I need to go somewhere, my motive increases but rarely high enough to get just above neutral. With my parents complaining, it adds even more of an impact, enough to get it past neutral, adding about 4 times the impact (which turns 110 into about 220), but not as much when it comes to needing to go somewhere, even the simple grocery store. I once been without a single shower or bath for a whole month."

Paper Airplanes

Fasteners are an important aspect of manufacturing. I deal with nuts and bolts at work at least once a week. Either I'm using them to test out samples of Loctite - the anaerobically-curing wunder-material that keeps fasteners together - or I'm looking through binders of materials specifications, making sure each nut has the correct thread count, inner diameter, outer diameter, composition and finish. So it came a surprise to me today to discover that Boeing just hasn't been keeping their fasteners in check. This article from Wired unveils Boeing's failure to maintain the utmost of quality control while putting together their 787 Dreamliner jet. The project has been delayed multiple times already, and the fact that the technicians drilling holes in the fuselage aren't following proper deburring procedures is only going to delay it further, sending investors into a tizzy.

So what is going on here? Why are these commonplace design choices creating delays? I have been working in manufacturing for the better part of two years now, and I witness it in my day-to-day as well. I was actually fuming with anger just reading this article. I feel like the entire economic crisis could be explained by the fact that people just don't give a damn anymore. Unfortunately, I have to realize my own hypocrisy in judging others for their day-dreaming antics, as I am a stalwart culprit of lackadaisical do-nothingness. But I have dreams! And goals! Outside of my current life! I have valid excuses! Or not. So what was distracting the guys at Boeing? Well, I started imagining what the job was like the day they were drilling into the titanium structure of the Dreamliner prototype (by the way, who the hell names a plane a Dreamliner? Are they living in some kind of homoerotic Kubrick film?) So what was it like? What kind of conversation was going on between the guys working on the plane? I imagine it went something like this:

Technician1: Dude, we were running Karazhan last night and we wiped to a bunch of trash mobs. I'm so sick of my guild. Everyone's ten years old.
Technician2: Ugh, I wish I had the time to play WoW. My wife was watching VH1 and I totally got suckered into a Rock of Love marathon. I'm already on my third cup of coffee.
T1: Ha, that show is awful. You see that Nailin' Palin video I sent you yet?
T2: Oh, yeah, totally. The wife almost caught me busting a nut on my laptop.
T1: Ouch. Oh shit, watch those holes - 3/8ths, remember?
T2: Yeah, yeah. I got it. I think I'm gonna go to Wal-mart later and get the new AC/DC album.
T1: Shit yeah. It's off the chain, man. Did you DVR LOST last night?
T2: Yeah, Locke eats the alien embryo. It's kinda distur-
T1: SPOILER ALERT!!! C'mon, I don't want to hea-
T2: The fucking struts dude. I swear to God, Big Luke is gonna come down here and beat our asses.
T1: Ha, I'd like to see him try. He's only a level 35 Paladin.
T2: Noob.
T1: Totes.
T2: Ok, looks like we're good here. Just force the nuts tight 'cause these holes aren't perfect.
T1: Yeah, fuck it. Just like Tila Tequila.

American manufacturing crumbles under the weight of election-themed pornography and massively multiplayer online gaming. I shed tears of nonchalance. I'm a big proponent of both.

Re: Keep it Secret. Keep it Safe.

In response to awesome things, I made this cat video set to kitten-making music.

      

Keep it Secret. Keep it Safe.

Every time I feel antsy about the loads of work and travel these next two months will bring, I should just watch this. The final product is always an awesome thing to experience and take part in. And as a double-edged sword, 2nd year Pennsport has to march following these guys:

Just Let Me Be Your Fag Hag, Anderson Cooper

My love for Anderson Cooper only increases by the day. The fact that he enjoys Real Housewives of Atlanta as much as I do, well, that means we're meant to be.

New Study States Obvious: Teenagers Having Sex

This week, scientists emerged from their cavernous labs with a new study finding that teenagers that watch “sexy” TV are more likely to have sex. Aside from the question of which groups fund studies like this and the infamous Daily Targum study that showed spring break increases STIs, I wonder what is sexy to teenagers today. Frank Caliendo? Stuffed crust pizza?

I’m no scientist, but I’m pretty sure the following does increase the likeliness of a teeanger boning:

- The Jonas Brothers: Nothing screams sex like diabeetus. Wilford Brimley would know. Nick Jonas, unofficial spokesman for diabetes sufferers, increases the insulin dangerously high for many young girls. As many know, an increase in blood sugar, mean increases in boning. Just last week, Nick Jonas had casual encounter-type offers from over 10,000 girls, but don’t bother diabeetus sufferers – Nick’s wearing his abstinence ring. As for his two brothers, Kevin and Joe, they only mildly increase teens’ blood sugars. Sure, their voices and beats get the kids bumpin’ on the dance floor, but blood sugars remain somewhat consistent. It's all about Nick.

- Twilight: Since Shadow of a Vampire with dreamy Willem Dafoe, teenagers everywhere have pledged their virginity to vampires. In the Twilight series, a slew of teenage vampires flies and drinks blood in a dark and always-cloudy town. One of them falls in love with a human. These vampires, already hot thanks to their inability to tan, are even hotter upon discovery of their vegetarianism. Moody, pale vegetarians. Sounds like he’s from Williamsburg.

I haven’t read Twilight but NuttyMadam3575, my favorite YouTube celebrity, sums up why teenagers cream their pants when in the vicinity of a vampire.

    

- Fear Street: Teenagers love reading books. When I was in middle school, I read a lot of Fear Street. This is how I learned about making out in the backseats of cars and murderous twin sisters. Nowadays, when scouring the Young Adult section of the library, all the Fear Street books seem to be taken out. Thanks to titles like The Boy Next Door and Double Date, teenagers now know how to not only spot the town serial killer (usually driving a Pontiac Firebird or Camaro), but they also know how to get into his backseat and accidentally get to second base.

- New Kids on the Block: Whoa. NKOTB always had the right stuff. They had the right stuff when I was five and they have it again, now that I’m not five. Sure, when I was five, I was a fan of prepubescent Joey McIntyre. I could relate to him with the whole voice not having cracked yet. Now, teenagers love Donnie Wahlberg. It’s all about street credit with these kids, and who has more than the older brother of Marky Mark? Growing up on the tough streets of Boston, he learned how to create his own Molotov cocktails and curse during awards shows. He didn’t need to learn how to sing – he was born with the gift. Teenagers love badasses, they always have. Vampires, James Dean and now Donnie Wahlberg. Ladies Love the Wahlberg. What’s more exciting is that Donnie is a divorced daddy, a d.d. For the girl with no daddy growing up, a d.d. will help teach her how to love and do the “Hangin’ Tough” dance.